“I can’t write about it.” He said with a wheeze and headed for the exit. He brisked up his pace, but I was fast enough to stop him. After shushing him with a wave, I calmed him down. I knew he could come apart at the seams, which he wouldn’t if he was there with me for a while. Tears doesn’t show the frailty. In fact, these are characteristic of strength and aspiration. We loose someone, we shed tears. That doesn’t mean we are weak or spineless. We are human. Crying is one of the perks of that. And why not to cry, in the memory of the one who gave birth, if that person isn’t any more.
“Mother”. Such a simple word. Such a beautiful meaning. But with a special tenderly attachment. I know he misses her so much. I know how much a mother misses her son, even after she departs from this world. I can do nothing to make him feel any happier. And on mother’s day, forget it. I know nothing can fill the space he keeps for those sunny memories.
I went there, where they keep all the merry spirits. Spirits who are always in seventh heaven, on cloud nine, walking on air, with joy. Saw her carrying a smile, sitting on a chair, in a corner, watching earth. I went straight to her. She looked at me and gave a warm smile. It was like she knew me. But how come? I didn’t ask her this witless question. Instead, touched her feet and asked for blessings. Then, I asked her to give me something which I could give back to him as a present. She said, I can’t take any physical object from heaven to earth. Nothing. Not even a leaf or a bit. This was really disheartening for me. I took a one day pass to heaven, in exchange of one year of my life, just to comfort my best buddy, by bringing a gift from his mother. I knew this might not give him any tranquillity, but it could be something he’d keep with him always.
With a desolated face, I was about to move back, when the mother asked me to stop. She said, “Bring my words to him, Can you?”
At first I couldn’t understand, what did she mean, as I couldn’t take any paper or recording from there. Then, I realised that she meant my brain memory.
I quickly nodded and perched on the floor attentively, next to her armchair.
She started speaking –
“From there I left, if truth be told, I never left. I lodge in your heart. It’s beautiful in here, I see. I see it every day. I know you’re strong enough to swallow the feelings that try to emerge many a times, without skipping a day in your restless life. I am, in fact, very proud of you for that bold attitude of yours. You are my one true source of happiness. I know, there comes a time, when no matter how hard you try, still exhibiting a smile turn out to be the most difficult thing. Don’t feel disgruntled or upset in the crowd. Don’t feel luckless. Because you’re not. I see you every day. I’m with you in all the uneasy situations. Don’t be a naive, by complaining the life you got. Nobody got a perfect life. All that matters is the one true feeling of contentedness. Whatever you do, whatever makes you happy, whatever brings satisfaction to your puzzled brain, just be grateful for that.
Never feel guilty for you couldn’t pay attention to the little moments when I was with you. Just keep your eyes on the dreams of yours. I think of you on this day. I think of you everyday. You gave me the gift of being a mother. Eat your fill. You look so weary and hungry, Son! If you don’t eat, it really pains me. So, eat well. Laugh much. Grow smiley curves. Fill that emptiness with laughter. And I’ll be happy, wherever I am. With love…”
Last Sunday was “clean your room” day for me. It might be a fun day, for others. But, I had to play what’s more important than that “fun” instrument. Nevertheless, I tried my best to summon up the joviality while scrubbing my reading table, sponging mud from the floor mats, and wiping down the stains from the woody painted walls, which were invariably there in front of my eyes, but I never got enough audacity to cleanse them.
It’s really easy, you know, to give attention to the things and the people, we come into contact with, each day of our life. But, its just our inertia or bailiwicks, which hold us back from doing so. Take an example of those inanimate books, we have, in our bookcases for don’t know how many years. They are lifeless, but embrace the souls of numerous fictional, non fictional characters in them. We open them, read them, shut them, and park them back to their dwellings. We omit to notice the dust and bugs that has gathered on the top of those books, which we once bought with so much excitement. As the books grow old, they need special care, as their binding may flake off and brittle pages may tear. So, don’t just buy them to read and dump, but also take a proper care of them. And if you can’t, give them to someone who can. That’s the reason, I never scrapped any book, which I bought since I got my wisdom of how wonderful companions the books could be. By the way, that wisdom came before my teenage started… 😉
Well, I cleaned pretty much stuff that day. Meanwhile, I started shuffling some old picture albums, which I found from my cupboard. But my eyes got fastened when I stepped into an old photograph – A kid, holding his father’s little finger, on a sea shore, watching the sun’s return to its home. I really loved the photograph, not just for how beautiful the sea and the sunset was, but for the reason the kid in the picture was me. I smiled and took a deep breathe. Then, I took that picture out of those transparent sheets of the album, in which it was mounted many years ago and, has never been took out since then, not even once. I, somehow, managed doing that without marring the original quality of the snap. After staring a while with soggy eyes, and swimming in those foggy memories of past, I put them back to its safer place.
Really, life’s speedometer is faster than any vehicle, the man has made. We never know, when our present will turn into just a memory. So, cleanse the stains from your one and half kg brain. And create the ambience of it, for a better you. Give this life your best captured photograph, no matter you get appreciation in return or a kick onto your teeth. And, while doing that, do it with an upward curve on your face. Because, you won’t like your sad emoticon while shuffling memories of your past..
Love you all !! After a very very long pause, writing something.. 🙂 I deserve appreciation. Don’t do I? 😉